Thursday, October 2, 2008

The Worst Mother of the Year

And the award goes to............

Yours trully!! I took the kids for their checkups today. They have not been to the doctor in over a year, and Emma was having some problems with colic and Grace with reflux. I pictured going in and discussing these things with a doctor and finding out what was triggering them and what we could do besides medicating them (I prefer not to medicate until it's a last resort). Here is what happened:

Did I mention it was terrible? My family and I just moved here in May, and since my husband has taken a lower-paying job, we got our kids on Medicaid. Medicaid has this new thing where they will actually pay for your monthly premiums if you can get insurance through your job. So that insurance is primary and Medicaid is secondary.
It has been very hard finding a pediatrician who will take both insurances in this manner. I finally picked a doctor from the list who did not sound foreign and who was in practical driving distance. I made an appointment for all three kids at 9:15 this morning. I got there at 8:45 so I could get all of the paper work filled out. by 9:00 it was all done. We waited in the waiting room for about 30 minutes, and then were called back. We got all three of them undressed and weighed and then were taken to a room. We sat and sat. My 3 1/2 year old, 2 year old, were getting a little hard to handle. So we started singing kids' songs to get them to sit still. My son loves the drums, and had brought his drumsticks along. He was playing them on the vinyl-coveed chair along with our singing. The nurse came to the door and informd us we were making too much noise. It wasn't like we were singing to the top of our lungs or anything. Just trying to make the time go faster.
Finally, at 11:00, I told my friend (who so graciously went along to help) that if no one came by 11:30, we were leaving. At 11:30, I began to get 6 wk old dressed when the nurse came to the door and said the doctor had arrived (we didnt' know she was gone). Apparantly, she had had an emergency admit that morning and things got a little haywire. It would've been nice to have been told that when we arrived and given the choice to wait or reschedule!! Anyway, we decided to wait a little longer. After all, I had gotten them all up very early and fed and dressed them to get them there on time. Why not just get it over with instead of coming back and doing it all over again? So, we waited more. Finally, at 12:30, I said this is it, we are leaving. I got them all dressed and as we were walking down the hall we met the Dr. and nurse. I told them we were leaving, that I would reschedule at a later date (not). The Dr. starts asking me please don't leave I am about to get started. I said I am sorry, I'll just reschedule. As we were walking out the door, a nurse comes running out and said the Dr. says if you will stay she will see you RIGHT NOW. So I agreed. Back in the room we go, undress all three kids again. Wait another 20 minutes. When the doctor comes in, she is rushing around, giving excuses about why she was late. She didn't take time to talk to the kids, get them comfortable with her. She just started poking and prodding and examining. Needless to say they did not cooperate.
Then came the shot issue. I knew my 2 year old was behind, and I didn't want to do them all at one time. I asked if we could do a couple today and come and do the rest later. She said no, we need to do them all today, there's only 3. I reluctantly agreed. Then she says oh no there's 4. I said I really don't want to do that. She kept pushing me, saying she's gonna scream the same with 4 as she would with two. Which really wasn't the point. The point was I don't want all those chemicals in my daughter's body at one time. Then she starts going off about she has to have these to start Kindergarten. Well, hon, she's not starting kindergarten next week! Ya know? So we wait longer. Six week old is screaming unsconsolably. The Dr. says, "Can't you give her that pacifier and calm her down?" I said, "No, I can't. She is tired and mad and she won't have this pacifier in this condition." I mean, dont' you think I would calm her down if I could? (thought, not said).
So my friend takes 6 week old and 3 1/2 year old to the waiting room. It's time for 2 year old's shots. When the Dr. comes back in she says, "Oh, I forgot, there's a 5th shot that she needs." I should have stood up right then and there and said, "NO! We are leaving. You are not injecting my daughter." But I didn't. I sat there and let them stick her FIVE times. I was crying, she was screaming and crying. I signed the papers and went out to the waiting room to my screaming infant.
I get them all loaded into the van when a nurse runs out to our van and says, "I need you to wait so I can give you these papers for proof of shots." So I said OK. Wait 8-10 minutes. Put the van in drive, drive across the parking lot. Another nurse runs out and stops us. She says, "We need you to come back in. We need to do a pulse ox on them [(whatever that is)]." I said, "No, ma'am.We are leaving." She says OK. We leave. Five minutes down I-20 the Dr. calls me on my cell. "We need you to come back and get these papers and their presciptions." OH! I forgot to mention that 6 wk old has a double ear infection and she prescribed antibiotics. I know this is controversial, but I do not feel comfortable giving antibiotics to an infant." I said, "Nnnnnnnnoo. I am on my way home. I am not coming back." She says ok and hangs up. It is now 1:00! Needles to say, I will NOT be returning to this office and have a word of advice for everyone: if there is more duct tape then vinyl on the waiting room chairs, LEAVE!! Stand up for what you want for your kids, don't do like me and give into the pressure. That's why I feel like the worst Mother in the world.


Sondra! said...

Oh, Amy, Don't beat yourself up too bad. I think we have all not stood up for our children at one point or the other. It is intimidating sometimes going to the Dr. I always leave forgetting to ask something. I have allowed things to be done or not be done to my kids in the past, too. So you are not alone. Keep looking. You'll find a Pediatrician that you are comfortable with. You're kids deserve it. If I were there I would give you a hug. You need one tonight.

Amy said...

Thanks, Sondra! Every time I think about it I want to start crying again! Grace is running a fever and walking with a limp from the four shots in her legs. Pray fer us.

Natural Mama said...


I have a big lump in my throat reading this. I feel so for you hon! Ugh, that has to be the worst doctor's office/scenario of the YEAR! I was just reading something awhile back that said if dr or nurse pressures you to do ANYTHING, then leave right then! Don't beat yourself up about the kids...with Grace being older, the shots will probably be ok (I'll be praying tho) and they won't even remember this ordeal by next week. But, I do feel for you hon!!! If it would help your feelings, write them a letter and list all the reasons you will not be back. I wish I had've done that with my hospital. I'm definitely not going back--remember how awful the exp I had. And I just wonder if the medical world hasn't a clue why ppl are so dissatified about service?!? It is awful. That is the main reason I plan to have a homebirth next time. I'm tired of fooling with crazy (this is NOT the word I'm medical junk with my deliveries.
Okay, so I'm riled up just thinking about all this junk *we* have gone through.
Don't be afraid to go with your *gut* instincts. It is so hard for us to do b/c the medical ppl are supposed to know what's best for us.

PS. I can't BELIEVE she told you to tell Elijah to stop and to put the paci in the babies mouth!! Girl, that is just ridiculous.

Write that letter! LOL And do it before you 'cool off'. :o)

Love ya, hon...we live and learn...I'm sure the kids will be fine!!!!!:o)

I can't BELIEVE she gave Emma an antibiotic!!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm done...hey, your dad is here and he and Bradley are listening to Alabama. They've been here about 5 minutes and that's how long your dad has been snoring. :o) hehe

Love ya!!!!!!!!

PS Cyndi's name comes up on the Caller Id...that's why I didn't call you bk..I didn't know if you were at her house or not???

Natural Mama said...

Oh, and Amy the worst mother of the year wouldn't be concerned about what happened--you get Best mother of the year and they get worst DOCTOR's office of the year!!!!!!!