Adventures At Drury Inn

Well, friends, January is gone. It was a blur for me. It brought more sickness (more specifically, the flu) to our home, which put quite a damper on Elijah's 6th birthday. It's hard to have a party when the weather is yucky and people are stumbling around in a haze of general crud-i-ness. Every year I say I am going to have him a party next year no matter what. And every year we wind up taking him to Chucky E. Cheese or Pizza Hut and substituting the cake with cupcakes or something. He's usually pretty happy about it until one of the girls' birthday rolls around and then he's like hey I want a party! Bad. Mom.

This January was also a milestone for me. I turned 30 this year, actually the day after Elijah's birthday. I didn't bring it up, because, well, I'm still not sure how I feel about it :/.

But now we have February, and it's already been filled with exciting things for us. For starters, we spent 4 days at a high-end hotel in Baton Rouge last week. My husband had some training sessions to attend and his job put us up for it. Sweet.

The kiddos were super-excited about the indoor pool, and I was super excited about a few days with no cooking, cleaning, or laundry and time to curl up with a good book. Or two ;). The first night we were there we took them down to the pool (and hot tub). That went great until Emma & Grace tried to drown each other and DH had to get in, jeans and all, and rescue them from drowning by hair-pulling. My hero :).

On the 2nd day of our stay, Grace started to run fever and complain of a sore throat, which turned out to be strep. Again.

A huge source of fun and fascination for the kids was the huge mirror-lined elevator, complete with a female computerized voice that announced which floor we were going to and our arrival to that floor. When we arrived in the lobby one afternoon, the computer informed us, "You have arrived in the lobby." To which Elijah replied, "Thank you, Mabel." It took me a second to figure out what he was talking about--Mabel from Adventures in Odyssey! Maybe he's had a little too much of Whit's End? :)

On the 3rd day, we took a trip down to the guest media room to check our email and such and I allowed Elijah to push the "1" button on the way down. Of course Gracie wanted her turn so I told her as soon as we got back in the elevator to go back to the room she could push "6". She was very much anticipating this honor, so she and Elijah boarded the elevator and before I had a chance to get in, the doors were closing and the elevator was GONE. With my kids. I stood there in shock for a few seconds. I heard it coming back down so I hoped they were in it. The door opened and it was empty! I got in and went to the 6th floor, hoping that Grace has pushed the right button and they had went to our floor. Sure enough, there they were, standing in the hall, Grace looking like she was about to have a breakdown and Elijah looking exasperated. I was so glad to see them! I quickly comforted Grace and Elijah said, "I TOLD her to calm down, Mom!" Isn't that just like a man?

We had to cut our stay a little short because the ice/snow storm that has swept our part of the country closed down the training sessions and also the roads, so we left early in order to make it back home before the storm hit. I did take my camera with me, but can you believe I did not take a single picture?? Bad. Mom.

We enjoyed our little "get away" so much, though, and I don't think that neither the kids nor I will ever forget our adventures and the memories we made!

Wardrobe Malfunction

Last week, we received an invitation to preach on Sunday night(last night) for a little country church that is currently without a pastor. We always look forward to going to this church. The congregation is made up of mostly elderly, country folks who are genuine and sincere in their experience. It is refreshing to see how they put everything they've got into the service. Some places won't get behind the singing/preaching unless the tempo of the song is fast enough or the preaching is a certain style. Not here.

So, they turn the service over to us and my husband called me to come sing. He chatted a little while the piano player picked out the tune and we adjusted the key. That's when it happened. I felt my pantyhose roll up and begin a slow, but sure, descent down my hips. What is one to do? My first reaction, however unwise, was to ignore them and hope they'd find a stopping place soon. As I gave in a little testimony and told them how glad we were for the invitation, they continued their slow retreat. What is a girl to do? I reached down and tugged one side, then the other. I glanced up from the spot on the back wall where I had fixed my gaze to see my husband looking at me with an expression of confusion and horror, as if I'd grown another head. He gave a curt shake of his head. So I chose the only other alternative: I grabbed a handful of pantyhose on the side and hung on for dear life while I sang my song.

Somehow, miraculously, I made it through the song. I don't recall feeling any special anointing. I fixated my eyes back the spot on the wall to avoid seeing the expression on people's faces. I can only imagine. What is wrong with this sister who is pulling at her underwear and singing with one hand on her hip like she's posing for a Chadwick's catalog photo shoot? As I was replacing the mic in the stand, one lady called out, "You got anymore songs?" I politely smiled, but made a beeline straight for the lady's room. Next time I'll remember to put my other, stomach-flattening unmentionable on TOP of my pantyhose!

I can only be thankful that this happened before a small congregation of mostly dim-sighted elderly saints. I'm hoping the few younger members do not completely write us off because of my strange, unladylike behavior.

And once again, the saying is proven: "The Funniest Things Happen In Church".

I hope I brought a smile to you face on Monday :).

The Bluegrass Jig

Top ___ Reasons To Lose Weight

Reason #1. Because you DESERVE IT!! Repeat to self over and over. Slam fist on table for added emphasis.

Reason #6. You have an exceptionally good-looking husband, and he deserves an equally exceptionally attractive partner. Ever heard someone say, "They just don't match"? Yea...

Reason #13: You go to TJMaxx to shop for clothes and you get really frustrated because out of a 1387 square foot area, there's a 2 foot rack with clothes in your size. And 80% were made for Vestal Goodman. Don't know who Vestal Goodman is? I mean was. Google her. No offense Vestal. RIP.

Reason #28: It's HOT. And you have too much insulation. And when you go to the zoo and walk around in said heat you get blisters on your thighs.

Reason #65: You need a crane to lift yourself into your hubby's new truck.

Reason #82: You see cute little underwear in the store and you know if you were to put them on they would go to the Land of No Return.

Reason #103: You double chin is evolving to a triple.

Reason #141: You're tired of people asking you when your baby is due.

Reason #2736: People peer at your bridal portrait and ask, "Is that YOU?"

Reason #3041: You're starting to break furniture.

Reason #6200: You think of a new reason every day.

Did I mention I'm on a diet??

Sheesh

I've been working on this joy thing.

After all, the joy of the Lord is my strength (Neh 8:10). I need all the strength I can get.

In Christ, we are supposed to have an abiding joy down deep no matter what our circumstances. Is that joy always visible? That's what I want. I want visible joy. Especially for my children, as the only joy they understand is the visible kind.

So today I put it into practice.

I'm singing a silly, joyful song to Emma about bath time.


Opera style. LOUDLY.

Then I realized all the windows are up and my neighbors are all on their front porches, having their evening visits.

Sheesh.

Then I get tickled, wondering what they are thinking. And Emma & I have a dose of visible joy. At the expense of a little embarrassment, but I guess it was worth it.

I'm hoping some of that joy spilled out onto my neighbors. If so, it really was worth it.

Oops

It's so true that the funniest things happen on accident. Those little tongue-twisters that sneak out of our mouth before we even know they've bubbled out of the deep recesses of our minds. Who knew THAT was in your head somewhere in the first place? Those ridiculously crazy type-os that seem to fly out of your fingers totally unbeknown, until you re-read the sentence and catch it (or the person reading your sentence), (or the 206 friends who read your facebook post). Perhaps most entertaining are the interesting Spoonerisms that pepper our conversations.

Spoonerism--error in speech or deliberate play on words in which corresponding consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched (see metathesis). It is named after the Reverend William Archibald Spooner (1844–1930), Warden of New College, Oxford, who was notoriously prone to this tendency.[1] It is also known as a marrowsky, after a Polish count who suffered from the same impediment.[2] While spoonerisms are commonly heard as slips of the tongue resulting from unintentionally getting one's words in a tangle, they can also be used intentionally as a play on words.

Here are a few examples, taken from the sermons/exhortations of the Rev. Spooner himself:
* "Three cheers for our queer old dean!" (dear old queen, referring to Queen Victoria)
* "Is it kisstomary to cuss the bride?" (customary to kiss)
* "The Lord is a shoving leopard." (a loving shepherd)
* "A blushing crow." (crushing blow)
* "A well-boiled icicle" (well-oiled bicycle)
* "You were fighting a liar in the quadrangle." (lighting a fire)
* "Is the bean dizzy?" (dean busy)
* "Someone is occupewing my pie. Please sew me to another sheet." (occupying my pew...show me to another seat)
* "You have hissed all my mystery lectures. You have tasted a whole worm. Please leave Oxford on the next town drain." (missed...history, wasted...term, down train)[7]


Wikipedia, you have my regards.

It's so good to know I'm not alone in my verbal and written blundering. I can sleep now.

G'night.

My "Have Done" List (vs. "To Do")

Today I have:

(1) Rescued Grace from the front yard after she somehow opened the back yard gate and snuck out (thank God I heard it creak).

(2) Changed 6 poo-poo diapers.

(3) Wished to never again change another poo-poo diaper.

(4) Introduced Elijah to "the corner" after he climbed on top of my dresser, took down my pincushion (removed all pins) and hid my glasses under the bed pillows.

(5) Finally cured Elijah from getting on our neighbor's porch by telling him the man who lived there was going to come out and whip him with a belt (mean, I know, but it worked).

(7) Spent an hour at the park chasing Grace and Elijah from one end to the other.

(8) Made two hairbows.

(9) Washed, dried, and put away three loads of laundry.

(10) Mopped my kitchen floor three times after Elijah emptied out an entire bottle of maple syrup in the middle of it (it's still sticky).

(11) Rescued a screaming Grace from the potty seat Elijah strategically placed around her neck.

(12) Cooked supper, cleaned up the supper dishes and kitchen, gave the kids a bath.

(13) Made brownies for dessert (yum).

(14) Removed floaters from the bathtub with a ladle.

(15) Put the kids to bed.

(16) Sat down to my PC to link myself with the outside world.

(17) Hope and pray nothing else happens to write about.