Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Unloading

OK, I hate to be a complainer. Who wants to listen to (or read of) a complainer? It might be a good idea to not read this blog if you don't want to hear it, because I feel like unloading, venting, casting all my cares upon the computer....get the picture? I am so tired of being POOR. It seems no matter what we do to try to get ahead, something happens to push it back again. We started a pretty good little savings account when we moved to Texas, but this month, things happened that depleted our little account so we just closed it. First off, I got a speeding ticket. No excuse, except I was in a school zone and didn't realize it (even though the light was flashing on the speed limit sign). I can remember exactly what I was thinking--Christmas is coming, will it be any easier this year? And whamo--I earned a nice little piece of paper that says pay $178.00 in 15 days. Can you hear the "cha-ching"? My fault.

The very next day, I have an eye appointment. We got a voucher in the mail for $99--includes exam and 3 months supply of contacts. I'm starting to have headaches and eye aches so we decided now is the time to get some new gloves for my eyeballs. To make a long story short, the visit turns out to be $333.00 smackaroos. That comes to a grand total of $511.00. I guess I should be thankful that we had it in savings.

I love Christmas. I get immense joy out of picking out the perfect gift for the people we love in life. My dear husband, he would be perfectly content if Christmas only came every five years. I don't understand this--if he had bad experiences or if it's just the fact that Christmas = spending money in his eyes (he would rather walk across hot asphalt barefoot than spend money). Every year it is like pulling teeth with him. There is minus some joy. (Did that sentence make any sense?). Plus, our insurance is going to go into effect in December--$500.00 a month. Subtract more joy from my Christmas joy account. His job will probably end in December--not much joy left to go around by now. Plus, he is probably going to take another job in Monroe. I wouldn't want this to get back to some people, but I would rather walk across hot asphalt barefoot in July for the rest of my life than move back there.

My son, bless his heart, is not helping my current state of blues. He has decided to go through a defiant, rebellious stage where he is in charge. He tells me and his Daddy "No!" at any command. He gets at least one whipping per hour for flat out, in your face disobedience. He refuses to take a nap, potty, or eat what I have fixed for him. I am about ready for him to be tired, covered in waste, and hungry if that is how he wants it (not really). I reaaaaaaally need wisdom and patience with him right now.

Also, I am so worried about a situation in John's family--can't discuss here but please pray for this little unspoken request.

I hope this doesn't make any of you feel awkward about Christmas gifts. Like I said, I love it and want to do it. I have been getting pretty creative about making things and so I am going to apply my craftiness for practical purposes this Christmas. I hope y'all are not depressed after reading my blog.

Love,
Amy

3 comments:

Wendi & Benjamin Wood said...

"Dear Amy"

Poor thing...it's a terrible thing not to have MONEY...BUT it's part of life...life is a struggle-regardless if you have money.

I am with John on Christmas. Why do we celebrate? Why lavish gifts upon one another and cause financial burden in your family budget? Why can't we just get together, eat and play games? Are we spoiled? Have we lost focus? Is it really about Christ's birth or more about "me" and "tradition"?

I cannot speak about a "bad" experience that John may have had as a child regarding Christmas, because I just remember running in our Father's house finding our own separate -huge-pile of goodies...I think daddy spent a certain amount of money on each child, and then we would go to other family's home and play the gift games... However, I don't remember it being centered around Christ...and isn't that what the meaning is? Or are we falling into tradition?

I am not sure how we will spend Christmas this year. There are many reasons I just want to stay home for the holidays and surround myself with the children. One thought...I told Shanda the year before she died, why are you doing this to Kaleb...what's gonna happen one day when you guys won't be able to afford all these things...she blew me off, just like she did when I told her she needed to have a will, and then a few months later died...well, this year how do you think Kaleb is going to feel?

I think it's ok to be poor, Amy. It keeps you in a humble place, and I think it's in that place that God's voice seems louder as you are more dependent on Him than on self or money...that's what I've learned anyways...

John is smart and money conscious. Listen to him about money and you will have money one day...he has always been a hardworker and a smart buyer, and moneysaver. Rejoice in the blessings that money can't buy... I would challenge you to NOT buy Christmas gifts this year...I am going to make that challenge to Ben, too...I will let you know if it "flies"--afterall, it's not about the gifts, right????

And, I think Diego and Elijah have a LOT in common! How funny!

Well, we love you, and I am blessed to have you as a sister in law...

Wendi

Autumn said...

I can relate with so much of what you or saying, and I have to unload somethimes to. I know you don't want to go back to monroe, but I would love to have you closer especially right now with everything going on. Find some time sit down read the bible take a hot bath and BREATHE!!!!! I love you.

Natural Mama said...

Unload anytime, honey! Have you read MY blog? LOL I hate money troubles, and we've not known financial freedom yet. Every dollar toward some bill. Would be nice if John got a bonus wouldn't it? That's the only way we can buy at Christmas...or a Christmas club acct? Anyway, we just want ya'll home for Christmas!! Let's do something fun!

I love thoughtful and creative gifts, btw! :)